Teramaze

Anhedonia tracks

Lyrics


1. ANHEDONIA

So many years searching my life
Don’t let me down
I keep letting me down
Washing away, craving my time
I keep craving more time

I keep hiding away
Searching for answers
Believing the lie
Delusional dream
Tortured by needs
Strengthened by weakness
Engraved in the mind

Something that frightens
And weakens within
Anhedonia

Thoughts swept away
My force-fed existence
Creating new life
Deliver me now
Triggered by pain
Corrupting my weakness
Engaging new life

Something that frightens
And weakens within
Hide away
Can you feel
That you are more than you know

Something that frightens
and weakens within
We realize that we don’t feel alive
Anhedonia (I don’t feel alive)
Hide away
Can you feel
That you are more than you know




2. WITHOUT RED HANDS

Misery
Best friends with lonely
How can it be
Looking out from here should way be gone by now

I’m leaving with nothing
Your pretty face is tempting
I gotta find my way out of here

Don’t even think you can
Leave without red hands
You only fortify your pain
Pain
Pain
Looking our from here should way be gone by now

I am a combination of indulgence and self deception
I am a combination of indulgence and self deception

And the weight holding down
What was it like without you around
Oh
I remember
I remember without you with me
Without you with me
Without you, With me – You, Were never part of me




3. THROUGH THE MADNESS

You’re everything I wish to be
And everything you have you seem to take for granted
When I saw you through the madness
You just stared at me blankly
Crucified my love
Severed from these ties again
You have taken far too long

When I saw you through the madness
And the distance in your face
If I trust in you
Will you be there diluted and erased

Now I see you with the weak,
Blindly sifting away, this is not from me
Did I torment you with madness
My baby if only you knew
Severed from these ties again
You have taken far too long

When I saw you through the madness
And the distance in your face
If I trust in you
Will you be there diluted and disgraced
You just stared at me blankly
When I trust in you
Should you be there diluted and erased

Loaded – You can’t let go
You left me – I left you alone

This madness – I’m sorry
I still need – Just let me

You just stared at me blankly
This madness – I’m sorry
I still need – Just let me
And I saw you through the madness
And the distance in your face
This madness – I’m sorry
I still need – Just let me
If I trust in you
Will you be there diluted and erased




4. MACHINE

Why won’t you listen to me
Cause I can’t figure it out
Wanting more unless you’re tied
You never listen to me
Therefore you and I
Decide to stay or divide

Why can’t we reset
Too much to forget

Just because you don’t feel lonely
Forget feelings
Empty T.V. screens gently bleeding
When it wants it you just let it always still
Too much to say
Cannot leave you alone
Cannot leave you here this way

Why can’t we reset
Too much to forget

Did I leave you alone
No more listening
There’s so many more
I’m just scared I don’t wanna hear it
I’m tired, I wanna delete it more
No more
Why should I stay
Machine

No more listening
No more
No more keeping clean
Now go away
I’ll never
I thought you wanted me to stay

Why can’t we reset
Too much to forget

Did I leave you alone
No more listening
There’s so many more
I’m just scared I don’t wanna hear it
I’m tired, I wanna delete it more
No more
Why should I stay
Machine

No more
Leave you wanting more




5. ACTS OF REPARATION

Daylight
I’m still awake
Consciously asleep
Wrapped in my disbelief
Poisoned by mistakes
Tearing life from me
How could I fall away

We will always search for something more
But it’s easier to drown inside
The fear of growing old
Some things are harder to let go too far away
Too far away from all the lies

Buried by my mistakes
Boxed in my self hate
How could I fall away
All that comforts me
All who treasure me
All that I’ve turned away

We will always search for something more
But it’s easier to drown inside
The fear of growing old
Some things are harder to let go too far away
Too far away from all the lies

With the act of reparation you deny
You are torn between the lies you left behind

All I want is a reaction
I test pain for pleasure
You won’t touch me
I just want to feel something
Anything at all

We will always search for something more
But it’s easier to drown inside
The fear of growing old
Some things are harder to let go too far away
Too far away from all the lies
Too far away from all the lies




6. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

In my mind
There is more than me
Laughing, I feel you hand
Stronger around my neck
Choking my final breath
My fear is leeching my freedom
My fear it capacitates
My fear has nothing to do with me
Yet only I can feel its grip

The Ultimatum blinds me

Slowly I feel myself bleeding
Into what I know is
Something more than us

So scared of what’s behind
Give me my peace of mind
My fear is leeching my freedom
My fear it capacitates
My fear has nothing to do with me
Yet only I can feel its grip

Slowly I feel myself bleeding
Into what I know is
Something more than us
Slowly I feel myself bleeding
Into what I know is
Something more than us

You won’t break me
My fear is leeching my freedom
My fear it capacitates
My fear has nothing to do with me
You will never kill me

Now that I have let you go
I’ve seen what you have taken
The wasted time and all the lies
You drained from me
Now I’m climbing out and I shall defy you
It’s time to look me in the eye
I crush your power, your hold on me
So long
Say goodbye

The ultimatum blinds me

Slowly I feel myself bleeding
Into what I know is
Something more than us
Slowly I feel myself bleeding
Into what I know is
Something more than us




7. BLACK CIRCLES

Now I’ve tried to find my understanding
Out of time
Came to find that it lied in me

Not yet
Show me your face
I’m spinning into black circles

I’ve danced
I’ve lie amongst the living
I’ve taken more than my share of blame
Not yet
Show me your face
I’m spinning into black circles
Now just show me your face
I’m spinning into black circles

I drew a line and crossed right over
My hands still stuck to this cruel disorder

Not yet
Show me your face
I’m spinning into black circles
Now just show me your face
I’m spinning into black circles
I’m spinning into black circles
Now just show me your face
I’m spinning into black circles




8. PROVERB LE JAME

The face that hides the man
From knowing who he really is
A face that can’t be seen
Behind it lies the scars still burning me

No one must know

I wait beneath the stairs
Deciding who to borrow for my maim

My face – my scars
Will slowly decompose – I blame you God

With all I knew
I tried to bleed from you
And all I ever wanted was a story

No one must know

The stain the guilt the blame
The body holds the wounds that burn in me

My face – my scars
Will slowly decompose – I blame you God

With all I knew
I tried to bleed from you
And all I ever wanted was a story
What have I become

No one must know

With all I knew
I tried to bleed from you

And all I ever wanted
All I ever knew
I tried to bleed from you
And all I ever wanted was a story
All from you
And all I ever wanted was a story




9. WHERE THE DEAD GROW

Even my arms surrender
Once again we bleed
A sea of dead demanding
Yesterday, was easy
No one’s home

I can’t divide – not seeing me
Where the dead grow – demanding me
See brains of fire, it’s choking me
See flames burn higher, demanding me

I’m blind another day
My bones are shallow
And now I’m standing
Where the dead grow

To see inside
The vacant lounge of being in your mind
Just look aside
While I look out front through your eyes
No one can prove to me
That this is all there is inside
You’re wonderful
But sometimes I am blind

Don’t you know this takes away – so long

A city in the grave
And body’s made of stone
We had to go away

I’m blind another day
My bones are shallow
And now I’m standing
Where the dead grow

To see inside
The vacant lounge of being in your mind
Just look aside
While I look out front through your eyes
No one can prove to me
That this is all there is inside
You’re wonderful
But sometimes I am blind

See brains on fire, it’s choking me
See flames burn higher, demanding me
To see inside
The vacant lounge of being in your mind
Just look aside
While I look out front through your eyes
No one can prove to me
That this is all there is inside
You’re wonderful
But sometimes I am blind

More…

I see it today
A city in the grave
And in thought of how I’m made
No, there has to be more
More
There has to be more




10. EGOSTATIC

When you lie
You lie to me
And take away the things that I have made
Can you look at me
So now you’re crawling back

So you wanna be the king

Stolen from your own illusion
The soul in your eyes
The enemy itself
Yourself

So you wanna be the king
And throw it all away
And now you’re standing still

If you lose yourself in greed
Buy yourself a higher place to stand
Look down at me
So now you’re crawling back

So you wanna be the king
And throw it all away
And now you’re standing still

You take your time
And I won’t keep you in my mind
Your hate / I’m blind

What we are / where we’ve gone
What we’ve see / where we’ve been
Let me have just one more of a chance to begin
Let me out of this hole that I’ve dug for myself
One more chance to begin

You only let yourself be
You only let yourself
You only let yourself go away
Cause you only have yourself

You only let yourself be
You only let yourself
You only let yourself go away

What we are / where we’ve gone
What we’ve see / where we’ve been
Let me have just one more of a chance to begin
Let me out of this hole that I’ve dug for myself
One more chance to begin

One more chance to begin
One more chance to begin
One more chance to begin (gone away)