- A Wilhelm Scream
- Relase date:
- January 01, 2002
- Jump Start Records
Benefits of Thinking out Loud tracks
Let's go on a rocket ship. We'll decimate the empty promise makers, including me. It's old hat for a new life, because they already forgot me. It's new shoes for a short hike that I've been walking for days. I'm living life like I just died and everybody knows it now. I'm taking myself for a ride and everybody knows it now. I broke my legs and tried to fly and everybody knows it now. I'll tell the truth, why should I lie when everybody knows it now.
2. IT'LL HAPPEN TO YOU
This confession is obvious to me. Happy dreams, sick fuck. You're supposed to be here with the lepers. The ones with vitriol. Right now I feel like one of those. Because the ones with emotions get sick in the end, like you. Stop if it hurts to fight. We lie for love because we believe that we need some. They lie to fuck and you know, in life it hurts to try to do right. Where's the lesson? Now, let's be honest here. Happy dreams are fucking synonymous with fear. Like the lepers, who wants to break the news that right now they're losing more than they have to? The one's with emotions get sick in the end, like you. Just stop if it hurts to fight. They want to break you down. You're gonna let them. Dying in a hole? It happens to the worst of us. It will happen to you.
3. A CHAPTER OF ACCIDENTS
I swear to God the sun is laughing at me, but I can't say because I don't look straight at it. Hear me out. Those boys tell all the lies that roll right past you "I don't wanna fuck you, I just wanna hold you." Hear me out. I've searched my conscience. Done laps thinking, like the ice capades and roller rinks. Will I know if I still care? I can't make up my mind. I'll burn those bridges to the ground to tie you up and drag you down. Give in to all subtle charms, spend summer nights in your arms. If I drowned in deeper oceans and sink, would you be better off than me? I'd do anything to find you. It's springtime and I feel like I'm dying while everybody's got a new lease on life. Hear me out. It's the time of year that rolls right past me. Just days to deadline. I know you can't wait to leave. What do I waste my time for? You've been gone for some time. Could I set out to find you? I'm fucked because you're my vice. But maybe I'm that type of guy, because I might be. I know this year's been miserable. I have faith the end is beautiful. It's just the road to get to you that's hard.
4. THE BIG FALL
We've got our rope neckties. The light fixture shedding sawdust keeps us hanging on. Waiting for the movie rights to come, but nobody wants to see us bruised and modest, feeding off ourselves. Spent life avoiding all advice. Who'd have thought the bottom we know would be so low down. What did we do to get so fucked round after round? I act like I knew it but sometimes I trick myself. I have these delusions that this time it will work out. From album to album, falling down. We're skidding down the mountain now, should have brought the megaphone. What keeps us hanging on? Our stomachs, screaming, realize that we'll just eat each other, and we're all starving now. We're all starving now.
5. CATHARSIS FOR DUMMIES
I can't tell which lights to go through and you can't want me like I want you. Tell me how you always... I know when I awake in the afternoon; it hurts to be so wrong. Because drunk turns like to love in fucked up words. We always sleep alone. My ethyl army halts when I do. It stops like heartbeats. Who do yours go to? Tell me how you always can stand him without vomiting. I know when I awake in the afternoon; it hurts to be so wrong. And I can only wait for you to call. You'll never sleep alone. When it comes down, it's not easy. Why can't we stay gone? Because you've got a life. Next time I won't just speak if I'm spoken to. But it's hard to really want you when everybody wants you. It makes me want to fail, makes me ignore you. It makes me want to want you anyway.
6. HALCYON DAYS
We spend the moments of our lives waiting for one to arise. Remember where the time goes? We hold on to these moments until the moment that we die. I'm saving this one for you. We watch our lives with reddened eyes when we know we need to cry. Be careful when this heart dies. Watch the waterworks fly. I'm saving this one for you. And I could not before this, and I cannot ignore that. I'm dying here. Our instincts deem it beyond our control. We've gotta fuck the ones we think we love. Just because it's human nature doesn't mean it's not fucked up. As I wander around this place, I wonder how you are. Please tell me have you changed? I want to know it all. How were your halcyon days? I wish I was involved. Jane, whatever you offer me, I'll fit the role. It's hard to live like an animal when you've bought the farm inside. It's alright because we're all slowly dying. We've got time.
7. BEAUTIFUL GIRL DISEASE
You're gonna make them feel loved. They'll have an angel where their heart's supposed to be. You're gonna make them feel alone. You know you're gonna get to learn to love that responsibility. When everybody wants to be somebody else, anybody would stick their neck out for you. You're gonna make them feel sick. You're gonna make them throw a noose around their necks. You're gonna take them for the ride. You pull it off because you're easy on the heart and the eyes. When everybody wants to be somebody else, anybody would do the same, but I didn't yet. Did she just fuck them for a while? I wonder if they had known that she belongs to no one now. I knew that she never would. Will I wait for her to come around? I won't now. I hate myself for making myself bored, but I'm used to it and it beats this race so many ran before, so I'm used to it.
8. BETTER HEALTH THROUGH SCREAMING IN TUNE
Most times I'm listening; same words, same ringing in my head. Jaw drops, the frequency, so everyone can here what you meant to me. Approaching my days like the first step in water, sinking now, sinking now. What's that to you, when I deserve to be alone? And I don't have the nerve to make do with what I know. I've been running out before I began to lose the race I'm running in. Wake me up from my nightmare before I start liking it. This dream is just a lie Keep living your false life. Please wake me up from mine. I'm laughing but it's airtight. I watch my lungs close. How much you'll never know. I'm learning by you. You let your heart be moved. I live to see mine choke, and I'd die to watch it go. I'll learn to move along, just like you do because it feels good to be alone. But when I'm feeling harmless, there you are to fuck it up for me. Can I move along, just like you do? Because it feels good to be alone. And I'm feeling harmless. There you are. There you are. It feels good to be alone. I deserve to be alone.
9. YOU KISS THEIR ASS AND THEY SHIT ON YOU
Welcome back to our suffering, and constant letdowns in this crowded world called shit. Tell me, sir, is there something that hasn't been done? It's all fucked up politics. Please don't speak because I can't think less of you. You fuck with us and we'll be fucking you soon. We're in line, a number. Just know we've got yours. We keep our collective futures in the hands of assholes and we're not the only ones. This don't seem right? Because it's fucking wrong. They're gonna screw you and the horse you're on. Don't keep those hopes too long. "Don't get me wrong, we love your songs and all you've done. You're breaking ground, you genius, you. You've done it again! And all will praise you." We don't mind, we love to wait and we'll write more shit and we'll play your game. We're in this for the love you know. We'll always be around. After all this time that we've realized that our love is growing stronger. You can't break us now, we're forever bound to what we love to love now.
10. SEPTEMBER 10TH
I'd like to think this is the last song for her, but I've been know to be wrong. Seriously, this time I think I mean it, because two years and a day seems like a good length for this crappy movie. And as much as I want her, I can't let it run my whole life. So here's my letter, a goodbye to these obsessive thoughts, and we will have these records of our lives. That's what you've got from me. Don't ask just how we'll meet, or when that time will be, but I'm convinced my life's a movie and good things will come this way eventually. Because I'm releasing the good vibes on the stereo and it's shocking. If all I can be is a memory, then that's all I want to be. I want this to be a celebration. Fuck this. You never had a reason. Fuck this. I know you wanted to say no. Fuck this. Tell me you had your reasons. Fuck this. I never got to see you go.
11. YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I NEED A PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION
Where's my freedom? Pick me up. I fell off the wagon again like clockwork. Where's my freedom? Wash away the times we stripped our feelings naked. Now, you've got to know that there's been times when everything just seemed to fall in. Where's my freedom? I forget the times we shared a single mattress. Where's my freedom? White it out, the times we shared those epic glances. Now, just fade away. I can't be free. You've locked me down and ran off with my...
12. CLASS OF '97
How much more could you ask for? It's been three years and some change and you're on your way. But only assholes want to fall in love. We spent four in that shithole and nostalgia remains. How about me? I feel nothing at all. I feel nothing at all. And all that's real is really far off. I don't want to want her. I just want the chance to see. Because all of my dreams mean shit to others. I want to go back and fix what's wrong with me. Life has a way of fucking you up just by being there. I want to start it over again. Time stands still while you think of the ones that have forgotten you. I want to start it over. I want to start it over. Because all of my dreams mean shit to others. I want to start it over again. So, tell me how you are...
13. MONTH OF SUNDAYS
It's incredible the way you made me look forward to another miserable day. And from the days to weeks to months, you'd be surprised how it adds up to this ugliness now that you're gone. I thought time would trade this hopelessness for love, and I believe that they both feel identical. I'm counting back the other ways I hate you. It always happens that way. And I would love to change your mind, but I never fucking tried. I'm laughing, well you're not. To cross this line to happiness from hell, I'll have to do alright with someone else. Now I'm counting backwards, and there's only you. There's only you.